How to write a maid of honor speech

Your job is to tell the room something true about your friend and to celebrate the couple. Three to five minutes is plenty.

A simple structure

1. Introduce yourself. Your name and how you know the bride (or groom).
2. A story that shows who she is. Something specific: a habit, a moment, a thing she always says.
3. The couple together. When you saw them together and knew. Something kind about her partner.
4. A wish for them. What you hope their life together holds.
5. The toast. Ask everyone to raise a glass and say both names.

Length: at a calm pace most people say about 130 words a minute, so a 4-minute maid of honor is roughly 520 words.

Tips for the day

• Print it, in big type. Bring a printout or cue cards rather than reading from your phone. Phones lock, glow and tempt you to scroll. 16 pt or larger, double spaced.
• Rehearse out loud three times. Once alone, once timed, once for one person you trust. Out loud is the only practice that counts. You'll find the sentences that trip you up.
• Slow down at the start. Nerves make everyone fast. Take a breath before your first line and say it at half the speed that feels natural.
• Pause for laughs and for feeling. When people laugh, wait until it fades before you continue. After a sincere line, let it land for a beat before the next one.
• Look at the couple, then the room. Speak the personal lines to the couple and the jokes to the room. Look up at the end of each paragraph, even if only for a second.
• Go easy on the bar first. One drink to steady you is plenty. Save the celebrating for after.
• Hold the glass, not the mic stand. Before you start, know where your glass is and who will hand you the mic. End by raising your glass and saying the couple's names clearly.
• Run it past someone who knows the couple. Check that every story is one the couple would be glad to hear in front of grandparents. When in doubt, leave it out.